my brother

my dad just rang me in tears.
I could barely make out his words.
my brother who known of the family have heard from in so many years because he cut everyone out and moved away has been found dead by the police.

my dad doesnt know how yet.
he is on his way to my brother's mums house.

I need to know the words. I know there are no right words. but how can I comfort my dad. what can I say? what is there to say.

my brain wants to dissociate as it has always done since childhood as a coping mechanism. but I'm fighting to stay in the here and now.

this isn't something I can hide away in my brain. my brother is dead.

dead.

ffs I'm sorry if I am triggering anyone. we weren't even that close I didnt know him that well. only met him properly in my late teens.

but now he is gone.

I tried to reach out to him last April last year but got no reply from him.

how can I pray for him. pray for his spirit
he wasnt spiritual, will the Angel's still be there for him.
waiting for him?

pls pls pray for him and my family and pls send healing.

I'm sorry if this isn't posted in the right category, I've been so stressed this week.

diagnosed with ptsd a few days ago and now this.

I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel devastated. I'm worried for my dad. I keep wondering how he died and what his last thoughts were.

but all at the same Time I'm also numb.
I'm numb. I dont know what to do.

this was the first place I thought to come.

rest in peace my brother. I love u x

All your feelings are grief it hits you in so many ways I will pray for you and your dad and I believe the angels are looking after him now he is at peace now and when you see your dad give him the biggest hug and tell him you love him and tell him you will be by his side thru this terrible time take care astral I will be thinking about you and your dad xx

Hi Love

I'm so so sorry to hear about your brother. This is so sad... it's tragic, i'm sorry for your loss of your brother, your and your family's loss. Hugs. My heart goes out to all of you at this time

I can understand you are in shock..... hearing this kind of news over the phone is always the worst too. You naturally just want to reach out and hold one another. There are no real words .... all I can say is that the biggest and most important thing right now is that you are all here for one another at this very difficult time.... you need your dad, he's going to need you, you are going to need your kids, and basically you all are going to need one another, so take it easy with each other and please just remember this is hard on all of you, I can understand you want to comfort your dad because he is in such a state and you are such a lovely caring person , I understand your need to want to be strong for Dad.

I guess, sometimes we don't know what to say and that's a time where we just need to speak from the heart and remember that sometimes theres nothing we can say, love is spoken and shared in many ways, support can be in many forms. A hug... flowers, a poem (I know you are very good with those) .. . it's very early days and the pain is very raw, especially since you don't have any answers right now :(

Whether or not someone was spiritual means nothing, I can assure you with all my heart, he is most definitely with the Angels regardless and of course he is going where we all are, to a place of love and peace, and I believe we will meet again some day, in that place. Some call it heaven, some call it the spirit world. Whatever you want to name it, I believe it's where we all go and will meet again ((((Astral))))

Please llet us know if there is anything we as a site can do to help you right now. I'm glad you felt able to reach out here, because we really do care. Loss is one of the hardest things we will face in life, if not the hardest thing we will face in our lives. Especially someone who is so close to us in blood, a relative, sibling, parent, child. You have been through so much and I also feel it's really vital you take good care of yourself in the weeks to come, so that you have the inner strength to help other people. You ae welcome to call me... i'm willing to be here for you, even though we mostly talked on here, if you need to reach out my inbox is open. Remember 116 123 is open 24 hours a day too for when you need to talk to someone and others are asleep/not around. Talking and reaching out for yourself will help you in helping your family as you are all going to be going through a lot in the months to come in your healing from this

In early stages it feels like you never will recover or heal. I can't promisie there's a quick fix, grief is something none of us can avoid but wil deal with differently as individuals. So understand that if others are angry or withdrawn, it's not personal, and it would help you to let your friends and others know the same : if you are quiet or angry or upset or have to cancel things in the next few months, it's because you are dealing with this very hard loss..... hugs.............


Of course i'll pray for him. I'm going to light a candle for him, a pink one for love, Raphael, and i'll say a prayer that your family finds peace and that his spirit will live on in your memories and shared stories of your brother after all, you are family, regardless of not talking much, it doesn't matter. Family is Family, he always will be your brother, from now until you meet again when your time comes. Till then, he will be with other loved ones and friends who have left us, he's not alone now, he will be with loved ones already, Reach out to me/us as much as you need

Prayers of peace and healing going out right now....

Don't isolate, reach out to us and others, be there for one another, and remember that there are no words sometimes and that is ok. Hug him tightly and let him lead the way. He may not want to talk about it much, o he may want to talk about it a lot. Listening and being there is the best thing you can do for him right now, and the same goes for others helping you, IMO. Please don't feel sorry for coming here, this is what this website is about.. community helping one another with what life throws at us. Hugs!!!!!

thank you so much cloud and button. I feel some relief from reading your messages.
the family arent pulling together.
one of my sisters is being nasty telling her child shes not allowed to speak to her grandad.

and noone is helping him apart from me and my girls. he is trying to sort out all of the arrangements. and there is a lot of them there to help but they are too busy arguing and drinking.

my dad also cares for his mum who has dementia. he is taking on too much and I'm worried about him.

I'm glad my brother is not alone now
yesterday morning when I was telling the girls that he had died. two things fell off my windowsill on to the floor.

the windows was shut so there was no breeze. I feel he was there in the room with us in that moment x

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Aww Astral I feel for you and your dad just try and ignore the ones that are drinking and arguing just be there for your dad your dad only has you now to give him support your dad seems a careing man and you to if you can't find the words just listening to your dad is enough going thru this terrible time take care Astral xx

thank you button x

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Hi Astral ,

Hugs and stay strong for yourself and for your family .

I am sorry for your loss .
We are here always ...
...it may seem tiresome to write but it will help you empty your thoughts .



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Hi Astral, Hugs

How are things right now?
Have been thinking of you throughout

Love Cloud

Same here ....and how are you Button ?

It's been very long time .

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Hi renaud am good ty how are you xx

How are you astral hope you ar well xx