Lost my father would appreciate a reading

Good morning all,

Wondering if anyone can help me and give me a reading or practice their skills. I lost my father earlier this year and I'm worried about my mum who's been left behind alone.

I keep replaying his death over and over in my head, it wasn't a surprise we knew he had terminal cancer but it didn't make it any easier. He had a rare form and it was very visual which made it harder to deal with and I also feel it robbed him of enjoying the last few months of his life. I know he was highly self conscious about this. It breaks my heart thinking of him feeling like this.

Due to Covid restrictions he couldn't give him the send off he deserved and we weren't even able to send clothes to the funeral home. How he left the house will haunt me for the rest of my life just in pj bottoms that were huge on him due to the weight loss.

I keep wondering if there is more I could have done, I just can't believe how quickly our family has been torn apart. Watching the deterioration was the most traumatic experience of my life. I guess I'm wondering if any of you are able to communicate with the other side. I would like to know if he's at peace now and in the spirit world does he look healthy again? I can't understand why he was taken from us, I don't understand a lot of things and am questioning the whole world right now.
When I'm grieving I'm not grieving for my loss but the loss of his life. He was a fantastic grandfather to my sisters children, I had hoped he would be there if I ever was blessed enough to have a child. I'm thinking of all the things he will miss and I can't imagine what it is like being told you will die and just waiting.

On another note I myself have tried for over 10 years to get pregnant but it hasn't happened, along with 2 failed ivf attempts. I really wanted him there with my mum if we got pregnant to enjoy their grandchildren.
I watch programmes on TV and I'm angered by bad people who are still here or parents that are not fit to have children having plenty. I am rambling a little now sorry this is my first post I guess I'm trying to find out why bad things happen to good people?

My questions are :

Is my dad at peace? Was he aware of us at the end? Does he have any messages? Was he scared?

Will myself and my partner ever have children or should I close that chapter in life? I feel In a grief stage about this not knowing, grieving for the loss of what I thought would come naturally. My partner would make a fantastic dad I wish so much I could make him a dad. Can anyone see into my future?

Any advice or readings would be much appreciated
Thank you so much. I feel like I'm dealing with two sets of grief my dad being the much harder but the other something that has bothered me for years I need to know what to do as I feel in limbo.
Carly

Just wondering if anyone can respond? I'm open to any readings you can give good or bad or practising your skills I know it's a lot to ask so I apologise in advance but thank you to anyone who is willing to give me guidance even if it doesn't answer the questions above. Thank you Everyone x

okz
ill giv it go
not dun 1 on ano pic on eat hear but il try if im wong im sorry
hes not mad he did not get a snedd of coz of cov he duz
his happy now his ned u a bunhhh of cnarnasonn he is
his met his famlyy in spirtt
on kids hes tellin me 2 govi giv it 1 mor try dnt giv up if u dnt hav kids dnt worry abot it
but wer ther is way thers a way
im getn nams stan judyy i am
getin song lady in redd i am
yore dad will be allways arodn u yore famlyy he will
i getin a green car i am ia m
sorry its all im getin

Hi Carlyb,
I know it's been a while since you posted this, but I'd like to give it a try. I do ask if you can post a picture of him (before he became ill is fine).
For now, I will 'give what I get'.

I see a taller man, with a big grin, big teeth, hair in a combover or combed over to the side, lighter hair, at least when he was younger. I get the name Bill or William(s) and that he had big hands. Feels like he worked with his hands, very detailed or intricate things. I also get the name 'May' or 'Maysie' and feel this has something to do with your mother or an aunt. Could be Millie but feels like May. I see your dad doig something with his hands, like a .. cat's cradle? when you weave a string between your hands. I also get that he was very bright and good at figuring things out. I also see a red 'bug' I dont know if this is to mean a smaller car or vehicle, but it feels like he had to squish himself to get into it.

I see your dad mouthing words, not necessarily saying them, as though there was a problem with his face and mouth and couldn't speak well toward the end. He is showing me that he understands how difficult it is with the family and he keeps showing me a baby rocking motion. Like he is holding a baby and rocking it. I don't know if this means he is with a child that you lost, but it feels more like you have a child coming, a boy I think, and your father will be with you when the child comes. I also feel like the child will be born when you get it, meaning a newborn, perhaps adopted. Ah, Dad just gave me an on-the-nose motion - so it looks like an adoption situation, you'll save the boy and the boy will save you. Did someone else pass recently as well? I see your Dad standing with a woman in front of him, with his hands on her shoulders, around the same age as your Dad. She is wearing a knee length flowered dress and is also holding a baby, this I believe is a child that passed. There is much love that they are sending to you. Be strong, be humble and kind. Be you.

I don't get much more, but I do hope you see this reading and it is helpful to you. Know they are at peace and will always be by your side with love.

Blessings,
CS7